Unfortunately, this will be the last monthly roundup - I have ralized a lot of things about myself since my suicide attempt this summer. For one, my habit of latching on to the past and idolizing it is not healthy, and I never check in on this site, so for the time being it will be archived. I may still make montly notes on my phone, but nothing too serious.October Homecoming week, spirit week, smoking with alec during the week, hitting the bag, ball run, smoking with Sean before decorating halls, constant heache, prince daddy and he hyena, Midwest Eli, hoco day and hoco game with friends, cross country last meet and barbecue, seeing joker with Sean and ufc 243, dc trip was lonely, dc with Davidson, ride trip and talking to leighton, Ian came home, running caraway, Joyce manor, front bottoms, lil peep, barren, watching Halloween stuff, freaks and geeks, reading the long walk, going to Virginia with mom, playing the front bottoms, skipping with Sean, cross country states, Davidson’s party, spooky woods, Danny and Alec helping with leaves and night smoking, trying out for wrestling, haunting hour, new call of duty, Halloween, November Soup kitchen and wrestling, call of duty and the hotelier, lil peep and soundcloud, getting the pen, chilling out and playing the outer worlds (a good nostalgic game that is different than other modern games) and call of duty, chapotraphouse l, Giles Corey, new lil peep album, Joyce manor, wrestling match, atypical, bojack horseman, Going to masons for ufc 244, listening to chapo and tiny meat gang while doing Mrs. Mccarns, feast of caring, leadership retreat, Bradley and I hanging in dc, rocketman, chapotraphouse and cod, thanks giving, watching EliteXC nick Diaz fights and smokin, the mandalorian, hanging out with Davidson and Sean playing cod and watching jackass, green inferno, and notorious. December Concussion, staying home, Joyce manor, lil peep, the hotelier, playing cod with cum town and shadow of Mordor,PUP, tripping with Sean, Rick and morty and cod, Unfriended, the ultimate fighter, coffee chocolate, chilling with Ian, smoking with Ian exam week, heart to gold, fighting in the age of loneliness, winning wrestling match, hanging in Charlotte with UFC/Noel Miller, going to the mall twice, Denzel curry, TSSF, Star Wars, was arching family guy and drinking at grandmas, nana house, walking with Ian, playing BR, Christmas, once upon a time in Hollywood was great, transit and CANT SWIM at dads house, smoking with Ian and Jackson and watching bill burr, listening to Joe organ while playing the Star Wars game, New Year’s Day going to the hornets game, seans house, and gabbys party, pesky blinders and Chomsky, r/teenagers January Pesky blinders, can’t swim, TSSF, title fight, Jedi fallen order, wrestling, week with Ian coming home from school, going back to school, transit, battlefront 2, chapo trap house, skipping school, learning new songs on guitar like outbound and skipping stone, errands with mom (going to Starbucks and Walgreens), Zeus ,long weekend, gabbys party, going to seans for UFC 246, don’t fuck with cats, sarong Hernandez, hanging out with Alec and watching daybreak, watching Harold and Kumar, listening to transit and PUp, sick break with Alec, watching. 50/50 and Spider-Man, gta with Sean and Davidson, euphoria, the story so far, transit, PuP, Spider-Man whilst stoned, February New guitar shop, listening to Drug Church, Boston Manor, and Moose Blood, playing call of duty with the cross bow, euphoria, bojack horseman season 6, dismissed from school early for rain. Lazy Saturday finishing bojack and playing acoustic. Watching euphoria and Cody KO, UFC 248 at masons and then lazy Sunday with Alec, practicing band songs, states for wrestling, skipping with Sean. Drug church, Amity, and Movements again. Hanging with Sean for snow days and watching party legends, crazy day with Alec with j’s and party legends and K. Watching Destiny debates, going to see 1917 with Davidson then watching uncut gems that weekend, Jon Stewart debates, skating with Ethan and Davidson, thengoing bowling with the group, mom and me biggest fight, ufc fight night for flyweight belt, staying in my room all day, March fun week, skipping high iq bowl, birthday and Bradley’s gift, in cake home and we watched wolf of Wall Street, watching ufc 248 with bros and Parker, listening to Boston manor, making pancakes in the morning for brothers, clash royale, visiting Mrs McCarn, ACT Week, long run Friday, coronavirus scares, skating with Davidson and Ethan at the bank, watching the boys and warrior movie, making SoundCloud music, watching everybody’s everything, lil peep, smoken w Ian, morning walks and jre podcast, skating with Ethan and Davidson,TikTok, skating at home, watching honey boy and bad horror movies late at night, walking in the woods with joints, playing math rock in my room, watching hasan piker’s videos, boxing everyday and skating, lil uzi vert, playing cod war zone solos and listening to Corbin, skating every week with Ethan and Davidson, going to skate at high Point Christian, starting to lift, watching tiger king, playing COD war zone with friends, going to seans house and he picked me up in a golf cart with friends to drink and smoke later on, then we played ufc 3. Listening to Brakence, April Spring break Lifting, hasan piker, cod war zone, oats studios, skating with friends, playing with friends at 9 every night, skating with ethan, Zoinked every night, lifting with political debates, watching red oaks, staying home because of the quarantine, watching tiktoks, reading the chapotraphouse book, Bernie Sanders lost the nomination (sad), listening to political debates like destiny and vaush, new boxing gloves, finished season 3 pesky blinders, watching twitch streams every night, listening to brakemce and phoebe Bridgers, new Dance Gavin Dance album, playing DOOM eternal, playing warzone, snus, winning in warzone and playing cod with Sean and Faze Agony, Pinegrove, new dance Gavin dance album, May listening to Vaush debates, watching UFC Countdown, writing new songs, going into the woods to play guitar. UFC 249 with mason, finishing peaky blinders, watching outer banks, getting better at singing, ap exams, going to seans lake and then going to his house to play beer pong and ride the golf cart. Ap exams and finishing school. Watching UFC every night. Going to Davidson’s after goungnup to visit Virginia and playing in the pool and making a fire, summer starts, playing Minecraft dungeons and listening to political stuff, warzone wins, producing the album, June Black Lives Matter protests, George Floyd, crazy times, watching sleepaway camp, Tyron woodley fight, going to the outlets at Tanger, new cart, TikTok, watching vanish, listening to dababy and Denzel curry, kids see ghosts, going to protest with Bradley and savannah, working on the album, UFC 250 when Cody and O’Malley both won, going to seans house and riding the go kart and cruising around,playing warzone very night, Minecraft with the boys, mma training, leftist YouTube videos. 13 Reasons Why, went camping in Brevard with my father and Alec, went to looking glass falls, got crossed every night listening to kid cud’s, king of Staten Island came out, got home and was extremely suicidal for no reason July Beach week with Sean, Davidson, and Gabe. Riding down listening to kids see ghosts and polo g, playing basketball and running everyday, exploring the sound and outer banks, watching Dustin Poitier beat dan hooker, going to fuck donuts, mental breakdown and suicidal planning - hardest weeks of my life, sodium nitrite suicide plan caught by mom, diagnosed with depression, taking prozac, ufc 251 a Fight Island, listening to juice wrld and Kanye west, playing fortnite, gender issues, depression, going to therapy and starting prozac, working out on the bag, going down to ians apartment to move him in and smoking and drinking with parker ian and his roommate, going to davidsons house and swimming after eating at sheetz, going to cross country practice during the summer, listening to a lot of playboi carti and dababym listening to commentary outubers and true crime, watching The Crazies with Ian while baked asf, August School starting, going to mad Greek with Davidson, Sean, Blake, cross country, coming out as trans to therapist, Frankie Edgar fighting, fight night grilled cheese, true crime stuff, guapdad 3000 and Rico nasty, listening to a lot of Playboi carti, getting a new cart from mala and it was really good, listening to vanish and that chapter horror, starting shameless, school starting and being really fun, going to Dunkin’ Donuts, shopping for girls clothes for the first time. Playing fortnite and getting level 100 on the battle pass September School continuing to go on. Emma chamberlain, and she in shopping, making iced coffees, listening to a lot of Doja cat. Finally coming out as transgender to my mother, because conversation of my life, accepting who I am as a person and being a girl, ufc cards, listening to true crime videos, before the storm album all week, going to Dunkin’ Donuts every day, playing inline poker in ap physics